I’ve heard that, statistically, your odds of winning the Powerball jackpot are about 1 in 292 million… but someone has to win, right? And if that someone happened to be a chiropractor in San Mateo—let’s say one who specializes in spinal decompression and still hasn’t removed his ski lift pass from his jacket out of protest for the short winter season—it would raise an interesting question.

The jackpot is up to $426 million as of August 4th. And while I don’t usually buy tickets, I’m not a monk either. When the numbers get that high, even the most grounded among us start to wonder: what if?

Yes, I’d still show up to work. I love what I do, and honestly, there’s nothing quite like helping someone finally get relief from pain they’ve carried for years.

What would I actually do with all that money?

As someone who’s spent a career aligning spines and nerding out over disc mechanics, here’s what my Powerball-fueled fantasy looks like—equal parts ridiculous, generous, and yes… still a little spinal.

1. First Things First: Dump the Pod Coffee Machine in My Office and Get a Jura Coffee Center

Seriously, what’s the point of $426 million if I still can’t get a decent cup of coffee at work?

I can adjust a subluxation blindfolded, but I can’t figure out why that Pod Coffee Machine only works every third time you press the button. You’d think a clinic devoted to neuromuscular alignment wouldn’t start the day with a machine that gaslights us, but here we are.

With $426 million, I could buy a Jura J8 Twin… or just get a Coffee Cart and hire a barista and call it therapeutic espresso.

2. Build a Dream Chiropractic Center—With a Mountain View

No, not metaphorically—a literal view of the Sierras.

I’d build a wellness campus in San Mateo or maybe Half Moon Bay. Floor-to-ceiling windows, decompression tables that glide like Teslas, soft lighting, and warm eucalyptus-scented towels after adjustments. Every patient gets a view, a plan, and a sense of peace.

Spinal decompression wouldn’t just be effective—it’d be elegant.

3. Yes, I’d Donate—Starting with Life Chiropractic College West

They gave me the tools, the perspective, and the passion I bring to every appointment. I believe in supporting the next generation of chiropractors who want to lead with science and empathy.

I’d set up a scholarship fund for students who:

• Want to serve underserved communities
• Excel in spinal biomechanics and decompression techniques
• Still know how to actually talk to patients like people

It’s not about producing more chiropractors. It’s about producing better ones.

4. I’d Start a Sciatica Relief Foundation

Because if you’ve ever had sciatica, you know: it’s not just pain—it’s life-halting.

We’d fund mobile decompression units for underserved areas, support research into non-invasive pain relief methods, and promote awareness of early intervention.

People often think sciatica is something they “just have to live with.” It’s not. And with the right tools (and funding), we could make sure more people know that.

5. I’d Still Practice—Just with More Patagonia Gear

Truth be told, I wouldn’t walk away from chiropractic work. There’s something incredibly satisfying about helping someone stand up straight after weeks of nerve pain or watching a patient walk without limping for the first time in months.

Would I ski a little more often? Probably.

Would I finally upgrade from my beat-up trail shoes? Definitely.

But I’d still be here in San Mateo, doing what I do—maybe with better lighting and a massage therapist named Sven on staff.

6. What I Wouldn’t Do with $426 Million Powerball Jackpot

Let’s just get this out of the way:

• No private jet
• No island villa
• No investing in a startup that’s “like Uber, but for your cat”

Some things are just too ridiculous—even for a guy dreaming in Powerball commas.

Besides, when your job is to keep people upright, pain-free, and moving well, you start to realize the best parts of life aren’t found in giant bank accounts. They’re in the ski trips, the college drop-offs, the thank-you notes from patients who thought they’d never walk normally again.

So, Will I Win the Powerball Jackpot or Any Other Lottery? Probably Not. But…

…if I do, just know that the Neurolink Chiropractic office may look a little different next month—but the commitment will be exactly the same.

Helping people find relief for sciatica pain, decompress their spines, and rediscover what it feels like to live comfortably—that part doesn’t change. Not for $426 million, not for anything.

And if you’re currently daydreaming about what you’d do with the jackpot, go ahead. I’ll support it—as long as you’re not slouching while you do it. (Seriously. Sit up.)

✅ Call to Action: You Don’t Need $426 Million to Feel Better

If you’re dealing with sciatica, herniated discs, or stubborn lower back pain, let’s get you relief that doesn’t involve lottery odds.

At Neurolink Chiropractic, we use gentle, non-invasive treatments like spinal decompression therapy to help you move, sit, sleep, and live without pain.

Book your consultation today. We can’t promise you’ll win the lottery—but we can help you feel like you did.

📍 Neurolink Chiropractic – Sciatica Treatment in San Mateo
📞 Call Now: (650) 375-2545
📅 Request an Appointment: Book Online
📍 Address: 177 Bovet Rd, Suite 150, San Mateo, CA